Forbidden....

I walk in the banquet hall and I smell that familiar smell that brings me back to simpler times, to exciting times (I breath it all in … like the first day of Autumn) and I see him there leaning against the bar smoking his cigarette in that care free way…savoring each inhale and exhale with such charm and ease.


I do love a man that smokes cigarettes; it is intriguing to me for some reason (not because it so forbidden these days) that has always been a weakness of mine, especially any dark demeanor and a man that can handle drinking some hard liquor. I only see him but once a year but it is always the same feeling I get… no matter what is going on in my life…I guess it will always be there…a little piece of my heart…


I can’t just walk up to him? Can I? Why the hell not…? (My internal struggle…)


I walk up to him trying to emit the same charm… all I got is my smile…I have never had that look… that sexy not give a shit look that so many people can carry … so I work with what I got… I lean right next to him and not say a word…I don’t look at him… He turns to me with his dark hair and dark eyes holding his cigarette in his sexy way… “How are you?” I say, “I am doing well how about you?” “He replies, “Good, good… you looking good…” His smile and his dark eyes staring intensely at me… Hmmm… he is trying to gage my reaction… I can be cool sometimes… I say, “Thanks, so why you just hanging out here and not inside with the others…waiting for me?” He takes a puff of his cigarette and says, “Of course, my dear.” (I like a man that keeps up with my wit…) I reply, “Good let’s have a drink and we can go inside…” He orders me…I say something strong, because I love these functions…. He orders me a “Rusty Nail” … On an empty stomach that is pretty much enough to get the party started … I take the drink…I drink it with such yearning as if it is the first drink of water I had all day… (The people inside would assume this is very un-lady-like…I was never one to impress and I had to do things on my own terms)… He extends his arm and I grab another drink and into the fire we go…